i can really feel the change in our prayer meeting members,
expecially stanley...
he have changed by what weiwei, elvin and michelle said.
really feel that he really care and anxious about the unsave ones...
joy fill my heart.

sch was a mess. failed some test.
chinese 46/70.. =)
took the beijing trip because i wan to be with jayme.
worried about the amount.
but then when i ask Jayme, she say she is not going. -.-
i have used so much effort in it.. haiz.

gone to bk without huifen, abit sad.
regine also nv go.. very sad.
but cannot force la.
why would a christian never do what a christian should do?
still doing her own sinful ways.
even try to help him to catch souls.
you might not know, but its wrong.
i don't want to miss out a chance... really worried about them..

when huimin receive christ, i was filled with joy.
then the the holy presence, that i am so touched.
then suddenly very excited...
i have the urge to share, but would you listen?
is God working in them?

i can say through these problems i have..
God had spoken to me.
He have changed me totally.
although not in my actions, expressions, but my heart.
my heart is peace agian... not with 1000 questions.
sometimes want to cry.. why God so love me?
i could not help it, but love Him.

i know the answer for my loneliness, maybe.
when you leave me alone for awhile, i will be adapted to my house mood.
house mood as in a very loney and quiet type.
at home, i didn't talk at all.
almost the whole day... and i am adapted to that.
it is normal to me.
so, once i am alone for awhile, i will try to adapt to the quiet enviroment.
and i don't like to change another enviroment which i ahve to adapt agian.
if you don't understand..
its like..

when i go out, i will try to say every word out, but when i adapted to my home enviroment, i will say all things in my heart, unless its a must to say. i will not not move my mouth. so.. it stay as it is, a plain mood.. but my plain mood is abit sad sad one..
so, don't think i am sad or unhappy but it depends, i might be sad.

finally understood..

-Xiaowei

2:48 AM