woke up @ 5.30am =.=
wed leh! should be 7am..
i always forget, lol.

do my qt and wash up.
when to sleep, tired lah..

trying to make the classroom clean.
and don't know if the history teacher is strict.
i couldn't find the plasticbag that keep all my new books!
buy a new one ba.. T.T

& jialing so sweet.
she call me look at the hk keychain and i say i want.. lol.
i say 4 fun de..
she bought a packet of hk stickers for her sis.
i asked for 1. i really want one.
but she like gave me half of the packet of stickes!
she even pour out for me to choose =)
so sweet.
i love her.

&& she say i have changed! awesome!!
good lah.. =)
i am praying for this cans..
she say i last time will keep scolding and shouting at her, very naughty and chulu.
now, talk very softly, quiet in class, hand in hw and more wenrou le. =)
last time i will put my leg & skirt up when sitting at the canteen... 0.0

know my history?!

sec 1, i am a real siao girl man.
with te, who is also a can-be 'loud girl', like me..
we hang out together and always influence each other.
i teach her the wrong things, she teach me the wrong things. haha.
and that time, i will always shout at teachers and classmates.
laughing sososo LOUD and walking out of the class whenever i want.
and other classes will call me a b***h.
i would shout at classes and disturb teachers..

walk around the school, go to canteen and play.
run here run there, walk past seniors..
looking at boys and play with them.
almost every week, sure kana dc. x)
when its lesson time, i will sit at the back door with te, looking outside, talking.. =)
playing games and hid n seek with teachers.
scolding friends and hiting others.
skip tution and periods..
walk away to home even when teacher haven dismiss us.

i won't hand in hw.
copy or nv do. x)
will go shopping or take np with te everyweek.
spending our time together in each other's house.

one day.
te was in my house, lying on my bed.
and i was lying at my water bed..
i asked her about God and satan..
although i have nv want to be a christian, i want to know about it.
why will people believe a book?!

that time, i don't know anything about christ.
dying for the cross for me.

i keep asking, but she just somehow gave some answers. =.=
i want to know more!! then she call me go read book. lol.
if someone want to know so much, i will want to tell!!
a soul!!!

then i ask her if she can go out w me on sundays..
she say she have to go chruch..
ok loh.. "can i go with you?"
she think for awhile and say, can~..

=)

i see how people worship God.
looking at the lyrics,
i was thinking why?
why they so love God?
why are they so passionate for God?
i always want to know the answer.. but..

after weeks, i was talking to liyan.
& i ask her where she is going after sch.
she say she going to what care n concern centre =.=
i didn't know what is that lah.
so i ask her if i can go with her..
met clement,
he taught me things that is so useful =)
but i am still by myself.
don't really talk to them.
sometimes i will just be a total silent.

one day, clement was sharing with liyan n juanjuan..
i didn't know clement is a christian!
and i told clement, i want to know God.
calling him to tell me more about God.
i can't wait to know..
& he say he will tell me tml.
the next day, i received christ.
friday, weiwei n company come to chunshen and fetch us to church, have icebreaker there.
and sat, weiwei share to me agian.. =)

i didn't like the praise song..
cause too noisy and loud..!
serious...
i cnt take it, then cry.. x)
someone bring me out. haha

weeks after weeks, i didn't jump, nor raise my hands.
i don't even know whats that for.
no one explain to me, so be it loh.
then one day weiwei explain to hy they all.
then i know.. =)

slowly, i keep wanting to know more of God.
yes, i am hungry.
keep asking whywhywhy? (in my mind)
but didn't ask anyone anything.
even if i ask, someone will cut my sentence.
i gave up asking. end up don't knw anything.

i am like in my own world when i 1st came in.
talking in my mind but not to people.
keep asking questions to myself, which i won't know.
don't talk much.
will not start conversation..

after months,
i think this year ba,
i started to adapt to the changes..

see, i hate changes.
and hate to adapt too.
really hate that.
changing things n adapting is very hard for me.
if you say u meet at 3pm,
later u sms me say u not coming or maybe 3.30pm,
i can't take it man..!
even if i haven't wake up.

through many many things..
breakthroughs among breakthroughs.
all the problems and fear.
i pray even harder.
growing and growing..
i know God will help.
keep relying on God =)
i have nv thing of anything, but God.

now, my relationship with God is much closer..

my conduct in sch not so bad =)
now very guai le, hehe.

Glory goes to God.
i always tell my friends its because of God, i am changed..

PRAISE THE LORD!

you might not see what God has change in your life
or even the things God has prepared for you.
you might not know God is there even in bad times..
he is there!
the path God lead me through,
my darkest moment...
he is the one who help me when none care.
he care for me.

Lover of my soul..

i am not alone anymore!

-Xiaowei

2:46 AM