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Saturday, September 08, 2007
after cellgroup, liquids cafe.
while ordering, samuel ask me if i would like to have anything.
"don't want, no money.."
always the same question & same answer =.=
then weiwei ask me if i really get $12 per week..
"ya.."

remember last time...
i don't understand why i have to give God my 10%,
when i don't have enough money for myself.
$12/week know?!!
& whenever winnie ask for cellgroup funds or missiontrip fund,
i am always the one not giving.
everyweek after cellgroup, i will be the one with no food.
feel so bad but have no choice.

i doubt God so many times,
even blame him.
asking whywhywhy... why me?

i just want enough money for food!
food only.. as long as i am not hungry..

i hate money so much.
but what can i do?
w/o money, i can't eat.


i want to help friends,
i want to buy things for my mother.
i want to give.
i want to share..

but if i don't have, how can i give?

"change this, change this!"

as i said, that was the past.

because i want to know the answer,
i search for it.
i ask God..
i want things to change so much..


God changed it..


because i have lesser of the earthly things,
i have more of God, which is eternal...


-Xiaowei



12:35 AM

WEI

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.