Morning decided not to bring the guitar,
because ram didn't reply my msg.
so heavy.. i am lazy. haha.
in the end he said he is sick.
i still haven't decided the time for my teacher to meet my dad.
he is busy lah! he needs to work..

and today mr tan told us about over class and level position.
i was so scared. i aimed for top 10 in class and top 50 in level.
and mr tan always seems to stop at my name.
yes, i got top 10 in class and top 50 in level =)
the next aim is top 5 in class and top 30 in level! =)
i can do it! i just have to work on my amaths, phy and language...

Class position - 8
Level position - 48
L1R4 - 15
L1R5 - 21

argh!! i want to go to JC!!!
so i am aiming for all As.. I CAN DO IT!!

after school went home and meet dawn to go to church.
her ezlink cards was lost, so i went to church by myself.
reached there, saw weiwei and we went to church office.
she was drinking orange carrot juice, haha! =.=
someday i will try that.. lol
i went to church for this BGR workshop. hehe.
anyone can come! you want to come? sms me..

BGR WORKSHOP for YOUTHS

All the common questions and answers:

What is BGR?
- Boy Girl Relationship
- Bond between two peoople
- To get married
- Feelings
- Sharing lives together
- Meet the needs of one another
- Game

Why BGR?
- Wanted to be loved
- Wanted to be care for
- Everyone is doing it

When is the right time to get into BGR?
- When you are mature enough
- Commitment to make to relationship last

----------------------------

Yep, almost everyone thought of having a relationship.
even i wanted to have it, haha.
And why? cause we wanted to feel cared and loved by someone.
when we don't get love from our parents, we will find it some where.
and the somewhere is BGR! haha.
but, do bgr nowadays last? is it a more hurt or love?
the 'love' is temporary and it won't last.
ok, if someone who is primary six told you that he stead with a girl,
what i your first thought? 'lets see how long will it last...' RIGHT?! haha
yep, so when you have bgr when you are young, it won't last.

meeting one another needs is all rounded, includes physically, spiritually and emotionally.
however, most people have bgr is to meet their physically needs only.
example can be sex...
You have to know that having a bgr is to get married
and married is making out our life and have a life commitment.
so i ask again, are you ready to have a life commitment when you having psle?
are you ready to support a family when you having alevels?
you are only ready when you earn your own money...
that's why some churches only allow people to have bgr when they are 21
but some people are still not mature to handle family stuff.

so having a family is not an easy matter.
don't play play.. haha

but, its love..!
many people will say that.
do you know that the youth will be more attracted to one another?
because we were growing and it is normal to like someone.
everyone likes many people...
first you like your parents..
your cousins? when you are young..
you like the bus driver?
the safety guard?
the guy who jogs beside you?
the guy next class?
the girl who dance on the stage?
the girl who talk the loudest in class?
your teacher?
the guy next to you?
we like so many people in our lifes,haha.
it is common for youths.
and this 'like' will last only for almost 6-12 months. =)

then why does Christians should not stead with a non-christian?
because when we say bgr, it means sharing lives together.
and both are from different paths,
how can someone live with a person who goes the different direction?
on Saturday, one go church, one say 'don't want la'
when having problems, one say 'lets pray' one say 'pray for what'
how can this relationship last?

haha, so you have to think carefully, are you ready for all this?
and having a rls is costly, which you have to give yourself to it.

went to see the drum lesson cost after the workshop.
doreen and i go to eat dinner together. =)

i was so tired and i went home.
i started telling my dad that i feel like taking drum lesson.
previously i told him i want to have singing and guitar lessons, haha.
and he started saying i want everything. =.=
yep, i said i want, but you didn't allow me to.. that's why i am not committed.
lol, playing the blame game again.. xD
i haven't told my dad about my results, i mean, i want to surprise him.
but he continued to say negative things about me, like i am useless =.=
i really very hurt by this, and this is the 3rd time.
as usual, i went to my room and cry.
i heard him saying many negative things in the living room.

i tried to cool myself down and went out to talk to him again.
told him i wanted to have tuition, because i am failing.
ah, i can't help it, it was too much and i went to to toliet to cry again.
he always say hurtful words.
haha, sometimes i hate it, why am i so emotional..
can't i be just emotionless and feel nothing?
and when i hurt others, i won't feel a thing.

cried for almost one hour and wake my mum up.
ok, sounds kind of fake, but its true, haha.
i cry alot!!
my voice started to change and i told mum i want to have tuition.
my dad join us on the table and started to ask mum for opinions.
my mum agreed to let me have tuition! PRAYER ANSWERED!! wahaha
but when i go to the living room..
my dad started to say that i am not a good girl,
i don't listen to him, i am very bad. =.=
i cannot help it! really, very hurtful.
ok, you know i tried so hard to be a good girl to my parents.
i mean, don't he see how much i have changed? =.=

yep, i know that i am having spiritual attack.
and this is a hard one as satan attacking my weakest point, family.
if i don't tell anyone, i might backslide or be affected by it.
so i have to tell weiwei =) haha.
i don't want myself to be lead by satan and away from God.

-Xiaowei

12:13 AM