went to botak jones just now,
the food was ok. haha.
i think i won't have dinner today =)

have a talk with winnie, wei and derrick.
haha, we talk about our dreams, artist and almost anything, ha
last two days, i dreamt of me, married xD
the first night was with this person called ken pua, haha!
you know him? from service one... haha
it was Chinese new year and i was sitting beside him,
cause i am his wife lah! and we were playing games.
the second day was with a tall tall guy, don't know who. lol

iyo, i think nowadays i have been thinking of getting married.
haha, weird right? i am just 15! so young.
i discussed with my mum and we have a nice talk.
i think i have a plan =)
-can start to accept bf at the age 20
-married at the age 25
-start getting pregnant at age 28

ya, my main aim is to get pregnant before the age 30.
the doctor said that the baby will be healthier. haha.
very kiasu right? haha.
but i think most guys want a wife who love childrens.
nowadays women don't want to get married, or even have a child.
one of my goal in life to to get married and have many children xD
i think all mothers like that, lol!!

but it must be smooth and real feelings lah,
i don't want to chiong at the age 20 and get everything corrupted.
if i divorce with my husband, i won't married again.
so, it must be 100% planned by God.

today morning went to cheak's house.
she offer me bread and milk, SO SWEET!
her mum show me some bible verses and tell me about tongues.
this thing made me cannot concentrate. xD
but i really think that her mums helped me alot.
i am going to ask sis wp about this.

oh! btw, we went through the presentation smoothly.
and we and dr. tan was like discussing the production and printing.
and we actually got first!! haha
so, we got first in the yog bottle design,
but this is not a design competition... haha.
there were only 6 groups, from different schools.
the first prize is 4 movie ticket!! =)
yenhui and i decided to give the other 2 to our dearest zilah and huda.
wa, today is the last day, i am not going back to school anymore,
till school reopens. =)

rush to church right after school and i came late, at 5pm
then yenhui's mum's voice is in my head.
i cannot concentrate in my prayers and i doubt to speak in tongues.
i hate to say, but i did struggle.
sis wp call us to pair up and pray to one another.
cherie! my mission trip buddy, prayed for me.
she prayed that i will clear any doubts that i have
and have the courage to say it out.
and also that i will not be affected by the words of other people.
wow! God is always so amazing xD

cg prayer meeting is sweet,
i feel close with my cg members,
i mean, only wei, winnie n derrick, i still feel close...
yes, cg has to be like this, sharing problems and pray!

i didn't have enough money in my bus card and i hand it up to God.
i always do that, haha!
God will always have a solution for me, so why worry?!!
wei fetch us to botak jones, which was near my house.
see? prayer answered! hehe...

---------------------------------------------------

actually, i have been thinking of myself.
like, why do i always have no emotion on my face when i am with my friends?
and i will have a natural smile when i reach home.
i mean, i find it so easy and its natural to smile at home.
but when it comes to my friends, i have to use some strength.
and i usually will keep quiet and stone when i am with friends.
but i will jump, dance and sing in front of my family.
i will talk loudly and talk a lot at home. THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!
i will want many attention at home, but i hate attention from my friends.
am i putting on a mask? i don't think so.
just that i think that having attention from friends is nothing.
i want attention from people whom i love and love me.
i don't need Everyone attention =.=
enough is enough. haha. i find it very tired when i see people attracting attention. xD
i mean, if its your character, then ok lo, but i won't understand.

i am looking at real relationship.
i don't need friends that wants to show that he/she CARE!
you don't need to show, just be REAL. so simple... yet people still can't do that.

-Xiaowei

4:48 AM