i just watched a neurosurgery -.- gosh, i am really freaking out now. i regret watching it. well, its disgusting, yet interesting. I kept preventing myself from thinking weird, but concentrate on what is really happening. fake a professional attitude. well, that didn't work at all! i didn't puke, but im feeling so scared now. argh... that guy had a tumor inside his head, which needed to be taken out. The doctors cut the head open and start working on it. They know exactly which part of the brain will affect the body. The tumor was around the legs and hands part.. which then.. they wake the patient up!! then he ask him if he could move his leg and hands.. !!!!!!!!!!!!! the surgery is still going on, with his head exposed and he is awake!! woah.. fear. yeo, thats all.. hahahahaha.... scared.

well, i just learnt how to play qing tian.. everything. but the song is.. rly hard to sing.. with these complicated lyrics, gaaaawwwwwww!! getting irritating. i only spend one hour on that song.. so, i guess i will go back to practice. iyo, jay chou loves to write songs with lots and lots of lyrics -.- with up the level of difficult.. as you have to be fast to sing everything.. now you know why he can't sing properly, haha. overall, HE IS TALENTED. :D

since 11am to now (9pm) i have not been talking to anyone, i mean in msn. its getting weird without elicia or chris online. EVEN DAWN AND JAY! i miss them.. but i guess some freedom is needed. i shouldn't be too possessive. i can see the change in them.. kind of sad sometimes. remember: its a choice :D well, at least i am glad that chances were given to them. at least at least they has chosen. what i am concern is about these innocent people who didn't have the chance to know God.

i kinda miss joys, i can see that she is going to break down soon... i can see the tiredness in her face and the soul from her eyes. i miss her, i miss her. i wish we could sit down and talk again. maybe do the favourite things we love! i have not been talking to her aldy.. and i don't know what is happening to her now. she is always so emotional in her writings, but in person.. she smiles to everyone. I wanna know her heart, i wanna know what she really feels. maybe i am not close enough to gain her trust to pour her feelings on me, but i hope someone will be there. God provides. make her alive again.. the joy that she meant to be, joyful joy.

6:03 AM